When I turned 21 years old I weighed 125 pounds and my height was 5’8″. Which made me look like Olive Oyl from Popeye cartoons in my mind. My favorite compliment was you look like a “tall, cool drink of water”.
Most women automatically disliked me on first sight of the only reason I was younger and an attractive female hanging out where the men folk were to be found. It became increasingly annoying getting followed into the restroom. I learned to travel with a girlfriend until I got fed up. I’m a survivor of domestic abuse and no one is going to stick their finger in my face or hit me out of nonsense either. I will get back up so you better knock me out. By the time I was 23 I didn’t need to fist fight anymore. They either liked me or they didn’t, but they knew what I was about by then. I was a pink necked girl in a redneck world. I had the time of my life being carefree and unfettered. I did what I wanted, when I wanted, and all the time.
By the time I was 22 years old, I was bar tending at the nicest hotel lounge around here. Most of the men liked how I looked while I was pouring drinks and grabbing their beers. Any man more than 10 years older than myself intimidated me with their personality. All gruff and barking at me made me steer clear of all of them.
“And yes, I’ve got Daddy issues.”
They were polite and careful with their words when it became apparent I was uncomfortable around them. Once I got used to being the boss of these drunken fools, I came out of myself and became comfortable around my customers.
I’ve always had rules for dating. Strict rules I always follow. I still follow these Golden Rules since I don’t want someone else’s man. I want my own man with no woman trying to interfere or cause drama.
“I’m not interested in dating your man. I repeat, I’m not interested in dating your man.”
Here are my golden rules. I won’t date any of the following:
1. A married man.
2. One who’s newly single that’s on the rebound.
3. A man in any type of ongoing relationship that’s mad at his partner and trying to play head games with her.
When I wasn’t dating someone which was more often than not, then I was going through my overwhelming bad boy crush that lasted almost 10 years. TE was such a beautiful man with long golden hair, the true definition of what a man should look like in a pair of Levi’s and rode a Harley. TE took advantage of the fact that I thought I was “in love” with him. I was so infatuated with TE that he knew I wouldn’t go anywhere with another man while he was in my eye sight. He didn’t want to be with me all the time, but he wasn’t letting any other man think I was available to spend any of my nights with them. Thank God I wasn’t saddled with TE for the rest of my life by marriage or having his children. He was a grown ass man more issues than a teenage girl. I wasn’t equipped to deal with him during my 20’s or ever for that matter. “I’ve always lived in the largest town in my county in Indiana until 2008 when I moved to a town of 300 people I enrolled my sons in a smaller school district. It’s been my little piece of Heaven on Earth.”
The population was higher in town during the 70’s and 80’s. Back before the town was high in unemployment and low on decent paying jobs. When the Chrysler plant shut down it completely devastated our area. Families moved away to find any kind of job opportunities with higher wages. Unless you were able to drive over an hour from home to Indianapolis for your job, then you were stuck in a town where there weren’t enough jobs to go around. This county is now mostly made up of small farming communities, commuters, a handful of small factories that are still in operation and some small businesses that still can be found around here. Not much has changed over the years, except for most of the bars closed down, with some new churches springing up and we’ve got a Walmart Super Center on the edge of town.
I had my kids when I was 28 and 29. They’re 15 months and 7 days apart in age. My sons are my true loves and the greatest accomplishment in my life. I’ve got two men that’ll love me after I die. What more could I ask for? I’m still figuring out if I’m actually needed as their Mom now days or just a sounding board for the them when they’re excited or stressed out about life. I saw TE at the local Walmart when I was pregnant with my oldest son and he looked like a decimated corpse. Time has been unkind to him or karma must’ve caught up with the man. I’m still clueless about any man who’s interested in me as a person, not just a woman to have in their bedroom, the kitchen or to be a mother their children. Kids over age over 18 are okay since they’re supposed to be somewhat capable of adulting on their own. I’ve already raised my two sons who are now 19 and 21 years old. I’m done with babies until I get my first grand baby. For now I have a grand pup named Xander that I get to love on and spoil some.
At 21 years of age all I was interested in was being able to drink beer in any bar I wanted in my little redneck town. I loved my beer, dancing and live music. I was a decent pool player and I loved bowling with my family or friends on an old fashioned game machine. The kind that actually had small pins to knock down using a little bowling ball like those big table top shuffleboard games. I’m sure those little bowling balls were used as weapons on more than one occasion. This was before video games took over all the choices in game playing, that we now play them all the time, except for when there’s a pool table around. This has been a good memory or two revisited.